You believe you need more strictness to survive…

but the truth is, you’re punishing yourself harshly

because no one in your childhood showed you gentleness.

You tighten your grip on yourself more than you can bear.

You monitor every step, every word, every feeling,

as if letting yourself soften for one moment would make everything collapse.

You demand standards from yourself no human can sustain,

force your heart into a steadiness it cannot keep,

and treat your own soul with a severity you don’t even show to those who hurt you.

But behind all this harshness…

there is an old fear of chaos,

and a deeper fear of making mistakes,

and of your heart being harmed if it ever relaxed or acted freely.

And maybe this mask began when you were young—

when you needed a word of reassurance…

and instead found scolding, or cold silence, or expectations far beyond your age.

So you learned that survival comes from tightening more,

carrying more,

and silencing your needs.

With time…

your harshness became a habit,

your habit became an identity,

and that identity became a cage you’re afraid to leave.

And every time you try to soften,

a voice inside tells you softness is dangerous—

that if you don’t over-control everything,

the old chaos you once knew will return.

Remember: gentleness is not weakness,

and a person doesn’t grow through toughness alone,

but through giving themselves the compassion they never received as a child.